


Dave ♥ Mituna - Totally Tubular Bro

by ooopo123



Series: Randomly Generated Ships: Rare-pairs Galore [6]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Human/Troll Society (Homestuck), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bisexual Dave Strider, Can you tell I know nothing about skateboarding, Extended Metaphors, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, M/M, My search history is the most dude-bro things ever because of this fic, Rare Pairings, Skateboarding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2021-01-27 15:41:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21394606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ooopo123/pseuds/ooopo123
Summary: Dave's not a great skateboarder. Mituna is. Can I make it anymore obvious?
Relationships: Mituna Captor/Dave Strider
Series: Randomly Generated Ships: Rare-pairs Galore [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1542388
Comments: 1
Kudos: 25





	Dave ♥ Mituna - Totally Tubular Bro

**Author's Note:**

> Sixth of a 30 part series!

Dave honestly wasn’t all that great at skateboarding. Not that he’d admit it. Honesty wasn’t something cool guys did anyway. The ‘Emotional integrity? Ha! I don’t know her’ kind of cool dude.

And, while that was all well and good, it did wind up with Dave suffering through some unforeseen, rather embarrassing, consequences. One being that he wasn’t stable enough in his own Goddamn masculinity to ask someone to help teach him how to ride a piece of wood with wheels attached to it properly.

Other people were, thankfully, just as self-conscious as he himself was; sticking to silently judging Dave’s terrible skateboarding skills.

“Hey, you fucking thuck! Watch and learn, Loother! Hahaha!”

Well. Almost everyone.

The bloke who couldn’t keep his mouth shut had only just entered the skatepark, and Dave was gearing up to shoot back a scathing one liner. Dramatic hair flip included with every purchase of middle finger flipping. 

It was only then that he got a good look at the fucker and suddenly Dave found himself experiencing a gay crisis.

So Dave, in an effort to not be intimidated by this scoundrel of a man, tried to imagine him in his underwear. ‘Cause why not laugh instead of curse the name of whatever god made this hunk as hunky as they did. Unfortunately, that course of action backfired immediately, as not only was the dude hot with clothes on, but downright smexy without them.

Truly, Dave had learned nothing from Squidward’s suffering.

As if he was a pestilent trickster deity reading Dave’s thoughts, the boy then decided to absolutely _shred_ on his skateboard. Managing to land stunts Dave could only dream of. It was as if the dude skipped that week of 7th grade Science where they covered Newton’s Law of Gravity, and now the guy could roll like a Looney Toons character without worrying about falling on his ass.

Apparently the stranger decided the knife he’d plunged hilt deep in Dave’s ego wasn’t enough, because as he rolled up to Dave he managed to pull off a seemingly effortless Caballerial kickflip, followed up by a flawless Ollie Impossible. Way to kick a man while he’s down for the count.

“Hahaa! And _THAT_ ith how you ride motherfucker!” Dave couldn’t see half the guy’s face under all that hair he had. If he could have Dave was sure his eyes, which would maybe be some shade glistening gemstone™, would have been sparkling with mischief, or some other fanfiction-y thing like that. Something equally alluring as those grinning lips, for sure. “But don’t worry ittle wittle grom. I, the exthpert skater, Mituna, ith _more_ than willing to help teach you how to be hashtag cool like him!”

Mituna, as it turns out, was an asshole. A huge, gaping, asshole with an ego the size of Mount Rushmore. But by _God_ was he an attractive one. Dave figured this might be some twisted form of love. Instead of it being the tropey ‘love at first sight’ bullshit his buddy Karkat got all weepy over, it was something more cool. 

It was love at first insult.

**Author's Note:**

> A, hands down, genius quote from one of my best friends right after they finished reading this short:  
Now I feel like Dave might have a humiliation kink but refuses to admit it  
-Connie, An Absolute Genius


End file.
